I recently had a big-name language company reach out to me. They wanted me to tell you they were the best I recently had a big name language company reach out to me. They wanted me to tell you they were the best thing since sliced bread. I told them I would give an honest opinion, but I was not going to lie about their standing against the actual sliced bread we all know and love.
No, it wasn’t Duolingo… I just thought it was funny when I asked for a “Radioactive Owl” for the video.
When they realized the couple thousand dollars in question would only pay for the truth, they backed out. They wanted the ad now and the opinion never. They only wanted to pay after they reviewed what I had to say. If a company is afraid of a family of four actually using their product before a review goes live, I am not putting my name anywhere near it.
I am out a couple grand, but my integrity is intact.
The Reality of the Magic Pill
There is no single solution. We use a mix of tools because that is what a real family does when they are not being paid to lie to you. Here is the triage report on what we are actually using.
The Big Names
- Rosetta Stone: It is great for basic vocabulary and the lifetime price is hard to beat. But be prepared for the tech support tax. Those live lessons are only twenty five minutes to begin with, and you spend the first five minutes watching a teacher explain how to refresh a browser. You are not going to learn much in twenty minutes when things get off track as often as they do.
- Duolingo: We have to talk about the owl. I had over a two year streak going at one point, and the kids liked it at first too. But eventually, we had to walk away from that radioactive owl. Between getting dinged for answers that were clearly right and realizing the Plus subscription was not worth the renewal, we moved on. It starts to feel more like a job than a tool.
- Easy French (YouTube): This is some of the most authentic street French you will find, but these guys are the panhandlers of the internet. We paid for their Patreon mainly so we would stop being asked to pay for their Patreon. It did not work. It is like walking around your local supermarket and being told to shop there over the loudspeaker when you are already in the aisle.
Problem vs. Solution
- Pimsleur: I checked this out again recently and it was brutal. I made it through Unit 1 years ago, but trying it now with Amanda was a disaster. We could not even make it through lesson one. The last sound first pronunciation and the pure monotony killed it for us in twenty minutes. This is the only one the kids have not touched, and based on our experience, they are not missing anything.
- Paul Noble: If you want an audio solution for long drives, this is the way to go. His method is so logical that I still remember how to say “Ich möchte das baby kidnappen” in German from a lesson years ago. Other phrases are probably more useful for travel, but it proves the method is memorable. Amanda just started the beginner French one and she likes it so far.
- Olly Richards: We use his audiobooks for short stories. They are actually interesting enough to keep you awake. He has much more intense, higher level courses, but we simply cannot afford those right now. For a family moving on a budget, the audiobooks are the sweet spot.
Paul or Olly, if you are reading, hi. Call me.
The Kids’ Experience
- HelloTalk: A great concept for language exchange that turned out to be a poorly created Chinese social media app. The kids have tried just about everything on this list, and they got bored with this one quickly. It constantly begs for money, sometimes in Chinese, and a lot of the conversations were one sided. It felt less like learning and more like a multi lingual Tinder.
The Bottom Line
We follow plenty of other creators like Alexa, Nelly, and French Facile. There is a flavor for everyone, and there is no reason to stick to just one.
But rest assured, if a company ever does want us to review them, or I specifically recommend something to you, I will actually try it first. The review will be honest, even if it hurts.
